Spoiler warning: Major spoilers ahead for the Season 13 finale of American Horror Story.

Well, after that ridiculous cliffhanger in Episodes 11 and 12, I was expecting one hell of a finale. Cordelia and Queenie were down, Mr. Nas was practically at the finish line, and I had no idea how the Coven was going to recover from that disaster. I certainly wasn’t expecting Satan to start sabotaging his own plans. Or for the entire season to end the way it did.

And while I really enjoyed a lot of this finale, I have some questions. Because after everything we’ve been through with these witches, I expected a little more from the final showdown.

Mr. Phibes, You Poor, Ridiculous Man

The finale opens with thirteen men gathered at a hotel after being contacted through a website called Secret Arrangements. They think they’re there for some sort of kinky get-together, and honestly, their conversation was already ridiculous before Mr. Phibes walked into the room.

Then this man starts complaining that people being more accepting of different sexual preferences has taken all the fun out of kink. Apparently, there’s no excitement in doing something if society isn’t going to shame you for it.

Sir. WHAT?!

And naturally, his solution is a wholesome little slumber party with milk and cookies. Except the cookies are laced with crystal meth, and these poor idiots have absolutely no idea they’re about to become sacrifices.

Mr. Nas is almost at one hundred years, and Phibes is practically celebrating. After all this time, they’re finally going to win that bet with God.

Except young Mr. Nas lets one of the men escape.

Wait. WHAT?!

He deliberately ruins the sacrifice, destroys his own elderly body, and then DECAPITATES PHIBES!

OH MY GOD!

The way he picks up that man’s head, continues talking to him, and tosses him into the fire like he’s throwing away yesterday’s garbage? I couldn’t believe it.

Phibes spent all this time doing Satan’s dirty work, and that’s how he gets rewarded. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

But what really caught my attention was Mr. Nas abandoning his plan. He’s been manipulating people and collecting sacrifices for nearly a century. Why throw it all away when he’s practically won?

Something wasn’t adding up.

Nan, Patsy, and Cordelia’s Personal Hell

Then we find Cordelia in an animal shelter with Nan, and I’m sorry, but this was awful.

Apparently, Cordelia’s personal hell involves having to euthanize innocent dogs. Nan brings her this sweet little dog named Patsy, and Cordelia is absolutely devastated. She’s apologizing to this poor animal, trying to comfort her, and I just wanted somebody to get that dog out of there.

Thankfully, Mr. Nas appears before anything happens to Patsy.

And he tells Cordelia to spare her.

THANK GOD!

But why is Satan suddenly showing mercy?

He releases Cordelia from hell, takes her to a beautiful park, and announces that he’s no longer interested in conquering the world.

I’m sorry. Excuse me?!

After all those sacrifices? After spending almost a hundred years trying to win his bet with God? NOW you’re bored?

Apparently, ruling humanity sounds like too much work. He’d rather continue tempting people, tormenting them, and generally making everybody miserable.

Well, I suppose that’s one way to spend eternity.

Then he wants Cordelia to admit he won.

Oh, honey. You clearly don’t know Cordelia Goode very well if you think she’s going to give you that satisfaction.

He tells her that evil can never truly be destroyed, comparing the idea to killing a metaphor. And he even hands over his Upper West Side property to the Coven.

How generous of you, Satan.

I’m sorry, but I wasn’t buying any of this. You don’t spend an entire season being the literal Devil and suddenly decide to become everybody’s benefactor.

QUEENIE!

And then we get Queenie back!

Ben rescued her from hell, and she’s finally reunited with Cordelia. Queenie immediately wants to know whether they’ve won. Unfortunately, Cordelia can’t tell her that.

But Cordelia asks her to enjoy this one moment. They’re alive, the sun is shining, and they’re together.

Oh, that got me.

Watching Cordelia and Queenie embrace after everything they’ve been through was beautiful. These women have fought so hard for each other, and I loved that the show gave them a moment to simply be together.

Of course, this is American Horror Story, so that peace isn’t going to last.

Mallory, You’re Going WHERE?!

At Mr. Nas’s former Upper West Side apartment, Mallory announces that she wants to travel into the past to find forgotten magic powerful enough to destroy him.

Cordelia is understandably worried. Having two Supremes in the same timeline is dangerous enough without Mallory disappearing into the past and possibly never coming home.

But Mallory promises she’ll return.

And off she goes.

Meanwhile, Myrtle is making herself useful by getting the place ready for the Coven. I loved seeing these women settling into their new home after everything they’ve survived.

We also get Fiona and Constance spending time together, and Constance discovering she has magical abilities of her own.

Oh, I loved that.

Especially when she realizes she could have set that house on fire all along. Jessica Lange playing these two completely different women has been one of my favorite parts of this season, and I really enjoyed seeing where their relationship was going.

Cordelia’s words about the Coven reaching out to other women were lovely, too. After everything we’ve watched these witches endure, it’s fitting that their strength still comes from finding and supporting one another.

And then Mallory comes bubbling up out of the bathtub!

Well, hello!

Apparently, she’s been to seventeenth-century Salem and discovered a spell connected to Sarah Good and Dorian Gray. And it might finally give the Coven what they need.

There’s just one tiny problem.

The spell requires the ultimate sacrifice.

Oh, I don’t like where this is going.

Madison Montgomery, WHAT THE HELL?!

Meanwhile, Madison and Ben are in bed together when Ben realizes the condom might have broken.

Okay. That happens.

Except suddenly Madison is pregnant.

And then she’s giving birth!

WHAT THE HELL?!

I’m sorry, but this woman just went through an entire pregnancy in what felt like thirty seconds! I barely had time to process what was happening before there was a baby.

Then Mr. Nas appears, brings the little girl to life, and practically congratulates Ben for giving him another descendant.

Of course Satan is delighted. Why wouldn’t he be?

But I actually felt bad for Madison and Ben. Remember how we learned that Madison wanted love and the possibility of a family? Now she’s found someone she cares about, and they have a daughter.

And just when it looks like they might get a little happiness, we find out exactly what Mallory’s spell requires.

Oh, Ben. Please Don’t Do This.

Ben is the thirteenth Antichrist, and apparently that makes him powerful enough to help destroy his father.

But there’s a price.

His life.

I KNEW IT!

From the moment we learned Ben was Satan’s son, I suspected he was going to have to make some enormous sacrifice. But I wasn’t prepared for how sad this would be.

He’s just fallen in love with Madison. They’ve just had a daughter. And now Cordelia and Mallory are asking him to give up the future he finally has a chance to enjoy.

And Cordelia knows exactly what this means. She’s going to have to face Madison afterward. How do you tell someone that the man she loves sacrificed himself to save the world?

But Ben agrees.

He doesn’t want his daughter growing up in a world ruled by his father, and he’s willing to die to prevent it.

Remember when Ben asked Mr. Nas whether he could use all that power to do good? I’ve been thinking about that conversation ever since. His father insisted that absolute power would eventually corrupt him.

Well, look at Ben now.

He’s making the choice his father never expected him to make.

The Devil Has One Hell of an Ego

I actually loved seeing Cordelia and Mallory stand up to Mr. Nas.

He keeps insisting that good needs evil, that darkness will always exist, and that destroying him is impossible.

And I found that conversation interesting because I’d been wondering something similar myself. Can good exist without evil? If there’s no darkness, what exactly are we measuring goodness against?

Cordelia and Mallory aren’t interested in accepting his explanation. They’ve spent far too long watching this man manipulate everyone around him, and they’re finally ready to challenge him on his own terms.

The Vincula spell binds a soul to its deepest desire, and apparently Mr. Nas has one weakness even Satan can’t escape.

His vanity.

He wants to be admired. Worshipped. Seen as a masterpiece.

Of course he does.

Then Ben appears, and suddenly Mr. Nas realizes his son isn’t there to help him.

Ben refuses to let his daughter grow up under his father’s influence.

And he stabs himself.

OH, BEN!

Watching him make that sacrifice was heartbreaking. He had finally found something worth living for, and he gave it up so his daughter could have a future.

But then we see what the witches have actually done with that sacrifice.

And I’m sorry.

WHAT?!

A Painting?! ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!

They trap Mr. Nas inside The Last Supper.

As Judas.

The thirteenth guest. The betrayer.

Okay, I understand the symbolism. We’ve been dealing with the number thirteen all season, and now Ben, the thirteenth Antichrist, has betrayed Satan to save humanity.

That’s clever.

But after everything we’ve watched, that’s how we’re defeating the Devil?

By putting him in a painting?!

I’m sorry, but I expected more.

And here’s what really bothers me. They didn’t destroy him. They trapped him.

Those are two very different things.

What happens if somebody breaks the spell? What happens if the painting is damaged? Is Mr. Nas really going to stay there forever?

Because this is Satan we’re talking about. The same being who’s spent nearly a century manipulating everyone around him. I have a hard time believing he’s completely finished.

And Ben just sacrificed his entire future to make this happen.

I understand what the writers were going for, but the actual defeat felt too easy for me. After all that buildup, I wanted something that felt a little more satisfying.

Then the screen goes black, we see flames, and there’s that strange final appearance involving Mr. Phibes as a director.

I actually thought that was a cool touch.

But I was still sitting there thinking about that painting.

So, Did They Stick the Landing?

I really enjoyed this season. I loved seeing the Coven return, watching Fiona and Constance together, getting Marie Laveau and Papa Legba back, and seeing how so many of the earlier American Horror Story stories connected.

And there were some fantastic moments in this finale. Mr. Phibes getting his head ripped off was absolutely insane. Cordelia and Queenie’s reunion was beautiful. Madison’s sudden pregnancy had me wondering what the hell I was watching. And Ben’s sacrifice genuinely hurt.

That’s what makes the ending disappointing.

After spending an entire season wondering how these witches could possibly defeat Satan, I expected a payoff that felt equal to everything they’d been through.

Instead, we got a painting.

Maybe other viewers loved the symbolism. Maybe they thought it was the perfect way to bring thirteen full circle. I can appreciate what the writers were trying to do.

But for me, it didn’t quite work.

I really enjoyed this season, and I enjoyed the finale. But after thirteen episodes of sacrifices, family secrets, returning witches, and the literal Devil trying to take over everything, I expected a bigger payoff.

Instead, they trapped Satan in a painting.

I understand the symbolism. I really do. But understanding it doesn’t mean I have to be satisfied with it.

And considering Mr. Nas isn’t actually destroyed, I’m not entirely convinced we’ve seen the last of him.