Stella Harris, a certified intimacy educator and sex coach, works to ensure that people have strong and communicative relationships with their partners. She has presented on a variety of topics pertaining to sex and relationships internationally and she has been widely quoted in the media on a variety of platforms.In Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships Harris uses her knowledge to provide readers with a variety of suggestions for how to build a better relationship that will be fulfilling for all those involved.
This book, while it does include kink in the title, is something that anyone in any kind of relationship should read. Harris works to discuss just how important it is to know yourself and to be comfortable communicating your wants and needs to your partner. She does mention kink related elements throughout the book, but the focus is predominantly on working to help her readers have better relationships. What she does is create a sex positive environment where a variety of topics and ideas are covered from how to find ways to spice up a relationship, to equitably determine how to handle household chores, and even how to find out what you individually might enjoy and wish to bring to the bedroom.
I found this book exceptionally informative, primarily because of the deep discussions of how to make the most of a relationship through a variety of communications and trust building exercises. Harris is reaching out to a broad audience and she isn’t afraid to share her own personal experiences to help her readers better understand what she is discussing. She also works to make Tongue Tied an inclusive work by including descriptions of a variety of different types of relationships: open, closed, same sex, heterosexual, etc. Even if you aren’t currently in a relationship this book is something that any adult who might have questions should read. I also think it could be beneficial for those who are preparing themselves to have the talk with their children.
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