The opening of last night’s Preacher was something straight out of a horror movie. An empty bus roving the streets, a man passed out on the sidewalk, a mascot wandering around, streetlights popping, and a girl fleeing for her life. Oh yeah and it’s not just one girl, we see there are even more trying to escape from armed men. But, hey not everything is as it appears.It turns out this is a very late night game of paint ball. As the girl we saw earlier is cornered after she gets shot suddenly the ground opens up below her. She falls into a hole and that’s were the opening ends. Then we are jumped backward in time to when Jesse used to prepare the church for his father. He definitely gets faster at opening bottles by the time he takes over as preacher. Then it’s back to the present, where Jesse and Cassidy are sharing some church time. Cassidy wants to tell him everything that happened with the gentlemen. Jesse wants him to summarize, but our Irish vampire has a bit of an issue with the whole boil it down to the bare bones thing. Actually if he had to actually boil something to bare bones he could do that, explain a story in two minutes or less, not so much. He sort of explains, but Jesse thinks the vampire was just high out of his mind at the time, Cassidy is holding an apple pipe during all of this, and our preacher nixes the get out of town plan.

The girl from last night has to be craned out of the pit, she definitely did not survive that fall. Tulip is not impressed by the speech the slaughterhouse owner, so he’s got more power than the mayor here, gave to the kids playing paintball. No one cares what happened because this is Chinatown, which doesn’t even remotely seem like a good reason. Jesse goes to visit Emily and tells her that he wants to try and fill the church. He suggests a raffle for a tv, but she has no idea where he’s going to get one of those for less than a thousand dollars. The town knows about his little visit to the bus driver and Emily is a little bit worried about what he’s up to. Besides the tv Jesse is creepily happy about a wonderful plan he has to fill the church. Emily should really keep worrying.

We’re back in the past again with young Jesse hanging out by the side of the church smoking. His dad finds him and tells him that he has to be an example for the others and winds up whipping him with a belt outside right in the church yard. In the present Cassidy is meeting with the gentlemen and tells him that Jesse isn’t really helping. He starts taking notes about how to get the thing out of the preacher, it’s either cut it out or sing it out. Cassidy is very pro singing and anti chainsaw. He would also like to be paid a little bit, he insists the money will be used to get illegal drugs for Jesse. The gentlemen hand over money, apparently thinking that Cassidy is going out to buy drugs. Wow, being from Heaven has not made you two very savvy in the ways of sinners. Fiore wants to call up to let Heaven know what’s happening and it turns out that they aren’t actually supposed to be on Earth at all. Very sneaky gentlemen. Cassidy is enjoying himself a great deal with the money from the gentlemen, though Jesse is nowhere to be seen.

The mayor is visiting the slaughterhouse owner, oh boy the mayor is in a heap of trouble for meeting with some people that the slaughterhouse owner does not like. This guy is very creepy and apparently he comes from a long line of creepy people who take care of things. Also men who don’t have shy bladders, he pees in the mayor’s briefcase because he made him mad. The gentlemen find themselves receiving a call, thankfully just from the front desk and not from the Heaven hotline. Fiore goes out for a snack and while he wants a burger has to make due with what he can find in the vending machine. The mayor is Emily’s sitter, well he is trying to woo her it seems. The two of them share some wine and chat about a very odd driveway defecater. He also vents a little about Odin, the slaughterhouse owner. Miles, the mayor really has been trying to woo Emily, but she tells him that they won’t ever be a thing as they both head upstairs to hook up.

Tulip is irate about what happened to the dead girl. The whore house is holding a vigil for her and she is telling the girls off for running around letting men shoot at them in their underwear. The vigil breaks up when the owner gives all the men a free hour with her girls. She then chats with Tulip about how she was such a sweet girl, but that that she has an attitude. Apparently Tulip’s mom used to work her so she’s used to the place, sort of. She beats the crap out of a guy in her aggravation and it turns out it’s Cassidy. Tulip thinks she killed him, but that would be pretty dang difficult to do. He tells Tulip to kiss him and well, he looks a little better after that. They get to the emergency room and before Tulip can fill out any paperwork or get him into a room he’s made it to the blood storage. Yeah, he’ll be fine.

Again we’re back in the past with young Jesse and his dad. His dad was called somewhere in the middle of the night and he brought Jesse with him. While he’s waiting outside the room Jesse steals a silver ashtray, he was using it earlier in the episode. Then after some yelling in the other room Jesse’s father comes out and tells him they’re leaving. Odin is working on a model of the Alamo and Jesse is there. He is asking our creepy slaughterhouse owner to come to church, Odin is not interested. Jesse starts working on convincing him to come by mentioning judgement and the afterlife. Odin still doesn’t seem convinced, he even mentions all the horrible things that could happen to him should he go to Hell and still doesn’t want to go to church. Jesse says he could make him go to church, but Odin says that wouldn’t be very Christian. Instead of using his powers Jesse instead offers him his father’s land if after tomorrow’s sermon Odin isn’t converted.

Now it’s Sunday and Jesse is ready to preach. He says that he knows that coming to church doesn’t seem like it will do any good because of how crazy the world has become. Then he goes on to blame the entire congregation for turning away from the Lord. Jesse begins saying that nothing will save you except God, even though they are raffling off a very fancy tv today. He says that starting today he will bring them all back to God, starting with Odin. Well, he tries, but without the magic voice Odin refuses so Jesse gets down deep and wills Odin to serve God. And wham, bam, thank you ma’am it works. Back with the gentlemen Fiore is eating cheetos and the phone rings, well not the phone they were hoping was ringing. Apparently Heaven would like to know what the two rogue angels are up to. Are you going to answer it boys?

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