#SausageParty by @erinwise82

Sausage Party

Hi guys, after watching this movie I really wanted to share my thoughts. I’ve been trying to write this article for a while now, however, I have found it kind of difficult. Not that it’s a bad movie, just I don’t know how to explain it without being completely….well explicit…..With that being said, the following will have some pretty intense language, talks of adult cartoons, and food porn…of the sexual nature. If you’re comfortable with all of that, please continue reading.

From the words of Twinkie “Once you see THIS shit, it will fuck you up for life.”

I’ll tell ya, this film has quite the cast, very impressive. Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, James Franco, Michael Cera, Edward Norton, Salma Hayek, Danny McBride, Paul Rudd, Bill Hadar, Craig Robinson, just to name some.

Ever wonder what food would be like if it were alive? Well, step right in to Shopwell’s Supermarket, where food comes to life, sing crazy fucking opening up songs, and humans are worshipped as “Gods” that take them to the “Great Beyond” once they’re bought. Here we meet Frank, a sausage, in a pack of sausages, who dreams of living the ultimate life, in the Great Beyond with his hot dog bun girlfriend, Brenda, where he can finally get all up in that bun. From the get go, this is full of sexual references that had me cracking the fuck up. “Just the tips” OMG! They even talk girth!

After Frank and Brenda’s packages are chosen together, they meet a jar of honey mustard who’s been returned from the Great Beyond. He quickly lets the groceries know that they need to get out of there, the Great Beyond is a lie. As he stands on the edge of the cart, ready to jump rather than be bought once again, he tells Frank to seek out a liquor bottle named Firewater, and seek the truth. Honey Mustard jumps, Frank jumps out of his package to save him, and Brenda jumps out of hers to save Frank. The jar falls anyhow and breaks, causing Frank, Brenda, and several other groceries to fall out. Now this is some sick, sick shit. Some of these poor groceries get brutally murdered. With these fallen groceries, a douche has also fallen out, and his pissed. In his mind, Frank has ruined his chances at getting all up in…well ya know. And yes, you read that right, a douche.

Frank, wanting to know the truth, leads Brenda, Sammy Bagel Jr, and Lavish, back to their aisles…..through a shortcut of the liquor aisle. Let me tell ya, that aisle is jamming. Fiesta! Once in the aisle, Frank tells the others that while they’re there, he might as well talk to Firewater. He finds the bottle, along with Mr. Grits, and Twinkle, non-perishables, who smoke some weed with the curious sausage, and tell him of how they made up the story of the Great Beyond years ago, to keep foods like him from being terrified of being eaten. Frank is totally mind-fucked with the story and wants to tell all of the groceries the horrific truth. The stoner trio tell him to travel the place beyond the freezer section for the proof he needs.

We can’t forget about the other groceries from the cart….that were purchased…including the rest of Frank and Brenda’s packages. They arrive at the Great Beyond, so excited. They’re taken out of their packages, smiling. A couple of Frank’s sausage buddies Carl and the slightly deformed Barry, along with the other food watch as a potato is chosen first. He gets a nice wash under the water, completely enjoying himself…..then the crazy bitch pulls out a knife and peels his fucking skin off, even cutting his fucking eyes. The rest of the food is shocked, horrified, and terrified. They watch as the cruel God eats a couple of baby carrots. “They’re fucking children”. Carl and Barry haul ass to the window to get the hell out of there. As they’re about to jump, Carl is stabbed and sliced up the middle by the nasty woman, Barry barely makes it out alive. Please excuse the next few sentences, they’ll be gross…..Barry searches around for someone who can help him, some kind of safety, something, anything. He comes across a pile of….zombie corn filled shit…yep, quite disturbing. Turns around and runs into a…you ready for it….used condom, that tells him of the disgusting events he had been through. Spooge. He then sees humans, one of whom has a Shopwell bag, all he can think of is home! He hops on the dude’s shoelace and is taken to the dude’s home.

One there, this weirdo injects himself with bath salts and starts tripping balls. Awesome thing about the bath salts, he can see the food move, he can hear them talk, he can talk back with them. Barry makes a deal with the guy to take him back home, unfortunately, the guy passed out. Barry manages to wake the dude up a bit later, with the help of some other unfinished food. But the guy is now sober and tries to boil Barry. It doesn’t quite work out, the druggie slips and decapitated himself, which you find out a bit later.

Back at the store, the douche, well he’s leaking, his nozzle is bent, and he wants deadly revenge. He does some sucking on a dying juice box and puts a sticker on his hole. It’s like homie is on some crazy steroids. It’s a….a….usually hilarious scene.
Frank tries to talk the others into going with him beyond the freezer section, and after a fight with Brenda, he decides to go alone. Brenda, Lavish, and Sammy continue their way to their aisle, coming across Tequila, who can help them….He takes them to a spanish bar (section), where he tells them to wait. A taco names Teresa del Taco, who saves them from Tequila’s betrayal. He went and got Douche. Teresa takes quite a liking to Brenda, quite a liking. They continue their journey.

Frank makes his way through the freezer section, with Meatloaf singing “I’ll Do Anything For Love”, while he hallucinates Brenda with other food…um men. When he makes it to the end of his journey, he finds the most disturbing evidence of all…..a Cookbook! Pictures of food being tortured, mutilated, cooked, eaten….so graphic. He rips a page out and heads to tell the rest of the store.

Brenda, Lavish, and Sammy make it back to their aisles with the help of Teresa and they say their goodbyes. Brenda, now packageless, stuffs herself into another package, squishing another bun in the process. Frank makes to the registers, shortly before opening. Via store camera, he shows his proof, but instead of listening, they all get pissed off that he’s trying to ruin their beliefs. Just then the store opens. Frank gets on top of one of the aisle where he runs into Barry and his new friends, along with the head of the druggie. He tells of what has happened, explaining the Gods can be killed. The wayward buddies drug up the humans as the store opens on bath salts with some toothpick arrows. All Hell breaks loose as these Gods trip out and go psycho on the groceries. Frank rallies the food to fight the humans and a store-wide battle ensues. The epic part of the battle is when Douche plants himself up the ass of the store manager and has control over him, trying to kill Frank. Fortunately, he has some great friends who devise a plan that ends up blowing the Douche and Manager up in a beautiful set of fireworks. Food overtakes the humans, killing every last one of them. Frank and Brenda decide to finally get it on, in a very graphic and funny sex scene, which turns out to be in front all the rest of the groceries. It turns them all on which turns into a massive orgy, extremely graphic, one that can teach even old dogs new tricks.

You’d think that would be the end huh. Seems logical, everyone gets some. But no, the crew all go back to see Firewater, who informs them, they’re not real. They’re just cartoons being voiced by celebrities in another dimension. A chewed up piece of gum, called Gum, reveals he has made a portal to travel to that dimension and find their creators. They take a hit of weed and hop through.

Does this mean a part 2? It took them years and years to get this project going, so I mean there’s no guarantee, but I should would like to see some food walking around in the human world, finding the people who made them. I actually really liked this movie. The food humor was on point. Yes, it’s crude, it’s rude, it pushes the limits…well, I guess I just explained why I like it lol.

Have you guys seen it? What were your thoughts? Leave me some comments below or find me on Twitter @erinwise82

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