After the Halloween double feature we’ve had more baby vamps, a sinister plot, and a ton of backstory introduced into our lovely little AHS: Hotel universe. This week we’ve been dropped into Room 33, that’s the episode title, but it is a very important room indeed. So get comfy and check in with me for this week’s recap of Hotel business.

The start of the episode is not only nostalgic because it’s set in 1926, but because we are back at the Murder House for a visit with the doctor. It seem The Countess, before becoming The Countess we know, had a bit of a problem that only a certain not so sane doctor could take care of. There’s a bun filled oven if you catch my drift. As they prep for surgery we learn that she’s too cold to be human and a bloodthirsty baby boy is born, though that came as a bit of a surprise. The detective, shoot it’s just John now, has seen not just Holden, but all the baby vamps, and his newly turned mostly ex-wife napping in their coffin beds.

Tristan and Liz are hooking up, which is not something I expected to happen. She’s providing him with a bit of an education, books she gave him books. Get your minds just slightly out of the gutter. Tristan says he loves her because Liz always seems happy to him and she says she loves him too. The downside is that she’s afraid of what will happen when The Countess finds out. The Countess is a bit busy herself, working a bit of her bedroom magic on Will, though it turns out they want Tristan to join them. You can’t say no to The Countess. Alex comes to Liz for help with John, she’s knocked him out while she figures out a way to get him to forget about her and Holden. Liz says they’ll have to hide the coffins. Alex tells John she found him passed out in the hallway and that he is just regurgitating what Scarlet told them she saw. The Countess dressed all in white goes to visit the thing in Room 33, it seems that her baby boy never grew up.

Donovan and Ramona arrive at the Hotel, but her plan to murder The Countess’ baby vamps are over when she and Iris find the swimming pool empty. Ramona puts Iris in charge of killing the children, but she wants to take care of the thing in Room 33 herself. Donovan finds himself dealing with the ghosts of the dead tourists and we get a quick flash of the hipster guy from last week. Donovan tells the ghost girls all about a school teacher who killed herself in a bathtub in The Cortez. She haunted aimlessly until she took to terrorizing the living guests. You really can’t ever check out, even after death. Ramona reveals the name of the baby boy in Room 33, Bartholomew.

Our little bundle of bloodshed makes a break for it and is now wandering the halls of the Hotel. Liz tells Ramona that she’s in love and when she reveals her secret lover, Ramona tells her to run off with him. She warns Liz to be careful and not to reveal her secret feelings to The Countess. The tourist girls find someone to keep them busy, but murder doesn’t help them. Alex recruits them to drive John crazy, which is one way to push along his breakdown.

Another Ten Commandments murder happens, this time in a church. John shows up even though he isn’t a detective anymore. The police insist they’ve arrested someone for the crimes already, but they don’t give a name. John adds booze to his breakdown and our lovely ghost girls get to work on Alex’s plan. Sexy times happen, with a pretty heavy dash of blood. Miss Evers comes the collect the sheets, Mr. March applauds John on fully becoming part of The Hotel Cortez, and bouncy baby Bartholomew stows away in a suitcase.

Scarlet tells John that her mom hasn’t talked to her in days and he offers to stay at the house with her until they figure out what’s going on. Bartholomew makes his escape from the suitcase and John shoots him, though it turns out just shooting a baby vamp doesn’t exactly stop one. Scarlet runs screaming from John, and tells him to stay away from her. Alex comes home and sends Scarlet to stay with her grandma while also collecting Bartholomew. Liz and The Countess talk about Tristan and while it seemed to be going well, The Countess destroys her newest creation to spite Liz. Alex returns Bartholomew to The Countess and we finally get to see the baby. I’m going with beauty is in the eye of the beholder on this one.

I think that after the death of Tristan that Liz will join in Iris and Ramona’s plot to destroy The Countess. Donovan though might attempt to get back together with her now that his replacement has been removed from the picture. I have a feeling that The Countess might have made more enemies than she counted on during this episode than she can handle in the long run.

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