It was the wedding of The Countess on last night’s AHS: Hotel and while most women would prepare for their wedding with partying and revelry, we instead see The Countess alone in a room tearing through memories of her old life. She insists that Will must be only her’s tonight and that there will be no guest from outside the Hotel. With that let’s move on to the rest of the recap.

Liz Taylor refuses to help after what happened to Tristan, but Finn Wittrock is back as Valentino. While she found her one time lover, she instead had sex with Donovan. He is willing to have an open relationship if she loves only him. Hm, pretty sure you might want to rethink that promise. Iris is pretty sassy when three people check in under the name Stormcock, obviously one of the Southside Stormcocks. After she dishes out a bit of a cock block, Donovan walks in to find his mother surrounded by dead bodies. Iris then tells him that she told The Countess that Ramona Royale let Bartholomew out of his room. Donovan swears he has everything handled and then grabs his own snack out of bathroom. Don’t ever beg for help in the Cortez buddy.

Will’s son is still confused by his dad marrying The Countess, he really thought his dad would marry a man. Miss Evers appears and tells Will that he shouldn’t marry The Countess because it will lead to certain death. He fires her, and we learn that she was in love with Mr. March and hoped to marry him. He loved her ability to clean so marvelously and without judgement of his activities. The Countess is building an impenetrable room and Mr. March appears. She blows up at him for everything he’s done. Donovan arrives at Ramona’s with the surviving porn star and tells her that The Countess took him back, which means they have their in. He drugged her with GHB and with the wedding he believes she’ll be distracted.

Ramona tells Donovan that after The Countess killed the man she loved that she went back home to her parents. They assumed she’d gotten plastic surgery and helped her to revitalize her body and mind. It turns out that her father is losing his memory, while her mother is on an oxygen tank. Her mother died while she was there and her father began to slip away. He was attacked one night by some burglars and she turned him to try and save him. His Alzheimer’s didn’t get worse, but he never got any better. She took care of him for twenty years until one night he snapped and killed two men who broke into the house. Ramona killed her own father to put him so that he could be at peace. She drowned him, which reminded me a lot of Coven.

Alex returns home to find it littered with bodies. Max and his preteen vampire hoard have taken up residence there. They have been killing in an attempt to keep their measles from coming back, I guess the virus can’t combat other viruses. Alex says she can take them to the Hotel. Donovan and Ramona sneak into The Countess’ room and when Ramona goes to strike the killer blow, Donovan takes her out. He has been swayed back to Team Countess. Ramona is then put in one of the contraptions that the tourist girls were put in and she will be put into The Countess’ new room designed for holding her enemies for eternity. She will watch them as they fade away, a bit like what Mr. March did with Valentino and his wife.

The Countess has gone to Valentino and she insists that she wishes to be with him, though neither of them wants Natacha around anymore. She arrives and has gotten a makeover, which prompts The Countess to invite Natacha to The Cortez to look at couture. Instead she is planning to get rid of her so that she and Valentino can be together for eternity. While she might have thought she was in the clear, Donovan saw everything. Ramona did warn him that The Countess didn’t actually care about him, but did he listen, no ma’am.

The very tiny wedding is taking place downstairs and Liz Taylor objects because The Countess is a bitch. I mean that’s a pretty good reason coming from the woman who had the man she loved killed in front of her. The Countess then gives her the bouquet and tells Liz that she hopes she finds true love one day. Mr. March shares a drink with the newly married Will, which leads to a dangerous trip to Bartholomew’s nursery. He insults her baby boy and The Countess says she will ensure he suffers immensely. The next we see him, Will is locked away with Ramona inside the new prison room. He lets her out of her cage, but as he runs to find an exit Ramona slices his throat open. Miss Evers stands above him smiling as he dies, just like she promised she would. In her room The Countess is watching all of this on her brand new big screen tv.

Next week we are getting way more Liz Taylor it seems, which I am super excited about. We’ll also have some throw downs over spouses between The Countess and Natacha and Mr. March and John. It looks like it’s going to get bloody.

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