Obscene googling, a murder high five, magic healing powers, a masturbation reference, a deadly proposition, and that was all before the title sequence. Wednesday’s AHS: Hotel episode, Mommy, jumped right into some crazy murder business. Will Drake might be in danger, but you’ll just have to wait and see. Continue reading “Obscenely Googling Murderers Might Not Be the Best Idea”

AHS: Hotel’s episode Chutes and Ladders was the longest non-two parter episode of any season of American Horror Story EVER. That’s not official, but I think an hour and forty minutes is the longest any episode has been that I’ve watched on television. It was a marathon of information, character reveals, and plot set-ups. It felt like I was cramming for an AHS exam while watching the episode. All the info dumping! I’m not complaining about all the information, but there was just a lot going on in this episode. I kind of wish it had been divided up into two episodes, just so I would have had more time to process everything. Here’s my best possible recap and review of the show, I’m sorry if I miss anything, but there was just so much in there this week that I don’t know if I retained it all. Continue reading “Baby Vamps, Coffin Naps, and Vogueing in the Lobby”

American Horror Story: Hotel has finally arrived and the extra long pilot episode, Checking In, did not disappoint. Two lovely Swedish tourists arrive at The Hotel Cortez and meet with the scariest thing you can ever find in a mattress, and I’m not talking bedbugs. Pop goes the Mattress Man and out run our girls! Only problem, once you check-in, there’s no checking out. With a crazy intense introduction to the Hotel, I’m going to keep it capitalized since it’s the title of the season, we jump to a graphic murder scene. Imagine the murderer from the movie Seven liked reading Fifty Shades of Gray in his down time and you’ve got the general idea. Continue reading “Better Call Housekeeping, This Is Going to Get Messy”