With the original Evil Dead trilogy recapped and Ash vs Evil Dead getting closer and closer to premiering, it’s on to the 2013 remake titled just Evil Dead. This movie was set in the present and my immediate thought was, “Who the heck keeps letting teens rent this cabin?” I’m just guessing a demon works for AAA and any time someone asks where they should go on Spring Break they just say, “Well, I know this place, it’s a real steal. Very rustic, no deposit, it’s all yours for as long as you want it.” Just please go to the beach teens, there you only have to worry about sharks and not demons.

There’s no Ash in this movie and no chainsaw hands, so those are two sad things I think you should know before I go any farther. I literally kept trying to find ways for these teens to have chainsaw hands, there are so many times it could happen and it doesn’t. Biggest letdown of the movie for me. I mean if I’m going to lose a hand in a demonic cabin, I am totally slapping a chainsaw on that stump. Because you know, chainsaws fix everything.

Our teens in this Evil Dead aren’t just partying, but they are also there to try and get one of their friends to quit doing drugs. It’s an intervention and also a weird supervised withdrawal period thing. One of the girls is pre-med and she insists that she can make sure the girl is okay. They find the Book of the Dead and wind up unleashing evil, because this would be way more Lifetime movie than horror if they didn’t. The girl going through withdrawal winds up getting possessed because she’s in a weakened state and all sorts of insanity breaks out.

One girl tries to cut off her own face, the sort of nerdy guy, you know that essential one that exists in every horror movie, gets super messed up a bunch of times. Not just beat up, but attacked in the face, multiple times!, and he totally keeps pretty much dying and magically coming back to life. He is like the freaking Energizer Bunny. The sort of druggy girl’s brother is sort of an Ash like character for part of the movie. He even has a girlfriend who deals with possession and she totally cuts off her hand with an electric kitchen knife, but doesn’t try and make it her hand. For shame, for shame.

Like Ash in Evil Dead 2, the possessed sister manages to shake out her demons and becomes a final girl character. She loses a hand too, in a super gross way involving a truck, but still no chainsaw hand! Come on, it would have been perfect! Oh and in case this will super upset you, there is a dog death in the movie. The dog is so cute too!

This movie is way, way gorier than the original Evil Dead movies. People get super messed up in some really graphic ways, like really really graphic. At the end of the movie there is even blood rain so you just see everything coated in blood. There’s just a lot of blood, guts, and violence. Bruce Campbell does super briefly show up in the credits, he says Groovy, so you should watch the credits.

If you’ve seen this Evil Dead movie or any of the Evil Dead movies we’d love to hear from you. Please comment below or tweet at us, @thenerdygirlexp. You can also tweet at me, @kleffnotes, and find me in a bunch of different places. My blog: kleffnotes.wordpress.com, YouTube, I’m kleffnotes there, and Periscope, @kleffnotes.